Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Glue..

Glue
I know what you say when I’m not around,
I hear it from all the others.

You wait – I’ll get my own
I’ll show you what I’m made of.

One of us will fall,
And what a sight it will be
How much you wanna bet
It ain’t gonna be me.

Remember what they say about glass houses?
Well it’s time to put the rocks away.

Stop blowing smoke up my arse,
Man up and tell me the truth
Otherwise, shut the fuck up.

No-one thinks you’re funny
No-one thinks you’re cool...
Matter of fact
Pretty much everyone thinks you’re a tool.

You’re a scumbag, a cunt, a loser, a liar.
Truth be told,
I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you
I wish you would die.

Fear

Fear [feer]
–noun
1.
a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
2.
a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights.
3.
that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid.
4.
to regard with fear; be afraid of.
5.
to have fear; be afraid.

Fear of the unknown.
Afraid I've made a terrible mistake.
Scared I'll never have the chance to be a wife (again) and mother.
Worried I have ruined not only mine, but someone else's life.
Concerned I am a bad influence on others & will end up pushing them away.
Anxious That I am not nearly as strong as others believe I am.
Frightened Of being alone.
Dreading The unknown of what tomorrow may bring.

The should have/ could have/ would have's - always making me second guess my every action.
Trying to keep a brave face for public viewing- whilst inside I am an emotional rollercoaster.
Realising that -yes, I really am standing on my own two feet now, like a toddler learning to walk, it's all about baby steps.
So very exciting, daunting yet so freakingly exciting all at once.