Fear

Fear [feer]
–noun
1.
a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
2.
a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights.
3.
that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid.
4.
to regard with fear; be afraid of.
5.
to have fear; be afraid.

Fear of the unknown.
Afraid I've made a terrible mistake.
Scared I'll never have the chance to be a wife (again) and mother.
Worried I have ruined not only mine, but someone else's life.
Concerned I am a bad influence on others & will end up pushing them away.
Anxious That I am not nearly as strong as others believe I am.
Frightened Of being alone.
Dreading The unknown of what tomorrow may bring.

The should have/ could have/ would have's - always making me second guess my every action.
Trying to keep a brave face for public viewing- whilst inside I am an emotional rollercoaster.
Realising that -yes, I really am standing on my own two feet now, like a toddler learning to walk, it's all about baby steps.
So very exciting, daunting yet so freakingly exciting all at once.